Judging by the sample of headlines from Google News below, I think the continent’s news editors were watching a different half-time show during yesterday’s Super Bowl.

Prince Half Time Show

Sure the Red States (and probably the Blue States) got to breathe a collective sigh of relief that a wardrobe malfunction didn’t reveal any of the Purple One’s naughty bits. But did anyone notice that he only performed two of his own songs?! And that all of his songs came off pretty badly.

Plus — as Charlie Murphy says in the clip below — his outfit looked like something a figure skater would wear.

You can blame the rain for a bit of the suck, but I’m afraid Prince is going to have to carry the rest on his tiny little shoulders.

I’m flustered. Dave Chappelle’s gonna have to finish this diss.


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