Sheryl Crow’s new favorite mistake

Sheryl Crow bikini

Hey Sheryl,

I know you’re just trying to “soak up the sun” on stage in some stupid practical joke on John Mayer, but “all I wanna do” is wrap you in a sheet and put you in a time machine to 15 years ago when this might have looked hot. I know “everyday is a winding road” for you, but even the dizziest of morons knows that pranking a human joke like Mayer is like multiplying zero by zero.

Seriously, I think “a change would do you good.” My stomach isn’t “strong enough” to look at the rest of the “picture.” But, “if it makes you happy”…

Yours bent over a toilet,


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    Not even Steve Mcqueen would touch that

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