Cape Bretoners are special

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Now that we have a proposal before Parliament to give Quebec special nation status, other regions of Canada have started to whine for the same — most notably Cape Breton.

In fact, some Cape Breton serperatists say they never actually joined Nova Scotia. Rather, they were “annexed” by Nova Scotia in 1820. It seems our founding fathers saw some benefit in making an island full of whiny public urinators part of the province. But I aim to help their cause and undo this wrong.

I say give it to them. These people are special — in the same way that the students who ride the short bus to school are, anyway. If you’ve ever heard one of them talk, or listened to their music, then you know what I’m talking about.

Blow up the causeway and let them float off into the Atlantic. That’ll make ’em real special. At least that’s what my campaign material is going to say during my bid for the premier’s office.

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