Archive for January, 2007

New iPod shuffles

ipode shuffle color

Well, not new so much as different colored. Still, I’m a sucker for the latest iPod crap and I think Mr. Orange has my name all over it. But $89 is too steep for a 1 GB mp3 player, eventhough — as Apple says — “you can wear it on your lapel.”

See you when you hit the $69 price point fellas.

Telus offers pornCanada’s second largest wireless phone provider has started offering downloadable porn for subcribers with video-enabled phones. Telus says users can already view porn on their Internet-enabled hardware, so it doesn’t make a difference if they cut out the middle man and pimp it themselves.

The funny part is that the Telus spokesman admits they had to check Google to verify that there was a demand for porn among Internet and wireless users. I guess the web isn’t just for trading unicorn lore on anymore.

The idea of spicing up the morning commute with some hardcore sexy librarian action is almost enough to make me ditch Rogers — but it’s probably pretty pricey. Cross your fingers that your download doesn’t experience any premature termination.

Write long and prosper

Joni Mitchell took a break from her busy schedule as Senate representative for her home planet of Naboo to come to Toronto to be inducted into the Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame.

Apparently, when she’s not arbitrating trade disputes between the Federation and the Empire, Mitchell has been known to ink the odd folk and pop tune.

Still the prolific songwriter, we here at hear she plans to get into gansta rap. Her debut hip hop album — Songs from the Street: A Biggie Yellow Taxi Blew Away My Old Man — is rumored to be due out this spring.

Congratulations Joni!

Word to the wise…

This doesn’t work. It will only get you arrested.

Also, Peter Gabriel is a Mary.

Guinness goes red

Guinness goes redIt seems red is the new black over in the UK where Guinness is introducing a new brew based on one of founder Arthur Guineess’ original beers.

The new “ruby” hued beer is already available in select pubs and will soon be available wherever English is spoken funny. It’s being done on a 3-month trial — but it’s unlikely we’ll ever see it over here. And who needs it?
Another variation that’s doomed to failure is Guinness Mid Strength which is currently being tested in Ireland. It promises the same flavor and price with half the booze content. Unless this one’s being marketed to anyone other than Irish babies, I doubt it will see the light of pub anywhere.

Was sad to hear that Miller Lite has suspended it’s Man Law ad campaign in favor of the crappier our-beer-is-better-than-their-beer ads.

Living in Canada, I only really see the campaign online — since as a beer, Miller Lite sucks and they know better than to bring that weak-ass shit up into this humpy bumpy. Still, I tune in frequently to watch Burt Reynolds debate whether high-fives suck or not with Jerome Bettis and Mr. H.

The commercials are some of the funniest spots I’ve seen since Terry Tate’s Super Bowl spot.

Great band, great song.

But Fugazi is totally straight edge, which to me is like remembering how awesome a movie Eyes Wide Shut was and then realizing that Tom Cruise is a scientologist freak.

Most people will say I’m wrong and that straight edge hardcore bands produced some of the ’80s best music without booze, drugs and smokes. And to them I say without these things, Fugazi are a bunch of sober dudes rubbing up against each other onstage without their shirts on.

Still, somehow they manage to tear shit up. I’m torn.

Been waiting for this news like a thirsty hobo in front of closed liquor store for some time now and it finally dropped. Coachella organizers released this year’s lineup and it looks like a dandy of a festival.

Here are some initial notes.

COachella lineup

I’m as happy as a dancing Spaniard. Woot.

Now to decide if we’re making the trip.

Bitch’s Brew

Beer for DogsNow this is what I’m talking about. I’ve always thought it would be fun to take your dog out drinking, and now that a Dutch group is brewing Kwispelbier — beer for dogs — we can.

Don’t worry, this isn’t a way for Jay-Z and Diddy to get your pooch’s guard down so they can snake some cheap material for their fur lines. The beer is non-alcoholic — by human standards — so there’s no telling whether Fido will actually enjoy it or not. If not, I know another beer that’s fit for dogs. It’s called Lakeport Honey Lager and at a dollar a bottle, it’s almost cheaper than kibble.

Dogs are color blind — so I wonder what beer goggles are like for them.

Thanks for the heads up cuzzy.

Rihanna is on the beach

This is why I like Rihanna so much. Most hot pop stars cover up take off running when they see the paparazzi coming, but not Rihanna. She throws on her snorkel and heads to the sea, saying like, “If you want some of this you better get to swimmin’ bitches.”

Who knows where she’ll pop up?

Rihanna bikini

More pics.