Battle of the Bald: Britney Spears vs. Natalie Portman

britney spears, natalie portman

So this is obviously a gimme for Natalie Portman, but lets do this just for kicks:

+ Natalie cut her hair to star in a hit movie. Britney cut her hair because she was tweaked.

+ Natalie went on to star in other hit movies. Britney went on to re-enter rehab, then bail, then… aw, who the hell who cares…

+ Natalie remains one of Hollywoods most watched stars. Britney remains one of Hollywoods most rediculous stars.

+ Natalie can’t sing. Britney can’t sing. Would be a draw if Britney would stop acting like she can.

+ Natalie can act. Britney can’t.

+ The state probably wants to give Natalie a star on the Walk of Fame. The state probably wants to take Britney’s kids away.

We could go on, but Natalie will still get all the points. The only thing these two have in common is that they’re both girls, but Britney will probably get a penis implanted and try a new career.


  1. Kroq

    Interesting to note that they’re also friends.

  2. betty

    Eh, they aren’t friends, they were just at the same party-thank god.

    As for the singing thing- Natalie Portman can’t carry a tune but how many people fell in love with her after tha SNL rap? I know I did :)

  3. Adam

    Natalie has more talent and may be more together as a person…but there’s no escaping that Britney is still a million times hotter than Natalie.

  4. Garry

    Adam…you need some serious love goggles! Unlike the beautiful and talented Miss Portman, Spears needs makeup and cosmetics in order to look the way she did. Now, we have seen her without any makeup, airbrushing, coemsetics…and no hair…and she’s not nearly as gorgeous as everyone made her out to be. Maybe she did have a body at one point, but you can thank implants for that. Now, she is a washed up, nasty, messed up piece of shit!! Natalie, on the other hand, is sexy without even trying and she is sweet and intelligent, not to mention talented and classy and mature. You don’t read about her flashing her coochie-coo all over the place, or driving over people’s feet. And, Britney shaved her head simply for free attention…Natalie did it for a movie role, and she was still sexy.

  5. rj

    britney is amazing.

  6. Steve

    Britney is way more attractive because Natalie is so skinny and boring looking and she has no boobs. To be fair, Britney is actually a decent singer and dancer, but Natalie cannot act her way out of a paper bag! Sorry but Britney Spears wins out on this one!

  7. Bob

    are you kidding me?
    1. Britney used to be just as skinny as Natalie so don’t knock portman for that, Brit’s just washed up and doesn’t know how to dress for her post-baby body.

    2. I don’t know where you get boring from Portman’s gorgeous face, but Britney pretty much looks like a male rapist getting his mug shot.

    3. No boobs…yes, like a real woman who didn’t buy them. Normal women don’t look like plastic.

    4. Clearly you’ve never seen a Natalie Portman film in your life. Britney is a decent singer/dancer, I’ll give her that. But Portman is a phenomenal actress and if you can’t see that you’re as crazy as Britney.

  8. Love4Britney

    Britney looks like a goddess. Natalie looks like a bore.

  9. Emma Watts

    OK here are the facts:
    1. Natalie Portman is talented,beautiful and looks good with or without hair.
    2. Britany Spears is talentless, a whore,shes ugly, fat, and a mental patient.
    No comparision!

  10. Katie

    1) Obviously there is something talented about Britney because if she wasn’t she wouldn’t have sold nearly as many CDs and had as many sold out concerts.
    2) Natalie looked sickly skinny in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Britney has never looked like that, she was thin but muscular.
    3) Britney has already received a star on the Walk of Fame.
    4) I love how people ridicule Britney for running over feet. I would like to see someone else drive with dozens of poperatizzi swarming you to get a picture. If you ever have seen a video with poperatizzi surrounding Britney’s car it’s no wonder she run their feet over. If she didn’t she would literally not to be drive anywhere so it’s their own fault.
    5) Natalie is a good actress and with out a doubt she does look prettier than Britney in comparison of these pictures. I just hate when people run their mouth’s and make stupid comments without critically thinking.

  11. Masoud

    I love Natalie Portman and I’ve seen most of her movies.

  12. tiff

    katie…your an f-ing idiot you spelled paparazzi wrong even a 10 year old can spell that

  13. tiff

    and britney is disgusting, nasty whateverrrrr

  14. muning444

    spears is ugly as shit and has an ugly head

  15. matilda

    natalie is so beautiful…. britney is very ugly i hate her….

  16. lovelovelove

    heeeey shut up about britney, she rocks aight.
    as does portman, but yno. people are different and its fools like you who caused britney to breakdown anyway so shuuut the heell up about her

  17. Miranda

    I used to love Britney when I was a kid. I made music videos to all her songs with my sister. She was a part of my growing up, so I can’t say I hate her, but I can say she is not anywhere near as beautiful as Natalie Portman. Portman is probably one of the most beautiful women on this planet. And her performance as an actress has a depth and intellect which Britney’s performance as a musician utterly lacks.

  18. Swedish_Girl

    I think both Natalie and Britney looks amazing without hair. But I prefer to se them with hair

  19. john

    britney spears has got to be the most overrated human being on the face of the earth. just basically a teen singer from 2001 who became famous for acting like a slut. the woman has about as much talent as a baby squirrel. i never saw the appeal of her, seriously. too many other hotter women out there. she just throws her crap in everyone’s face and preaches about being a virgin while dressing like a cheap hooker and acting like a porn star. she was cute but not nearly as hot as everyone says she is. as far as i’m concerned she’s in the same league as paris and lindsay. me? i prefer women who are classy and mature, like miss portman. she is absolutely gorgeous and very classy. unlike britney, natalie is still stunning even without the hair. i also love jessica alba, christina aguilera, angelina jolie, scarlett johanson, jessica biel and halle berry.

  20. Ryan

    So, John, you claim that you prefer “classy” women as oposed to “trashy” women…yet, you prefer Christina Aguilera over Britney Spears…last time I checked, Christina’s the one who spent almost four years donning assless chaps, posed naked and still brags about all her gross sexual exploits, getting her body pierced and her bobies…interesting.
    As for the whole Britney vs. Natalie thing…well, nothing against Natalie, but saying she’s hotter than Britney is like saying Daniel Radcliffe is hotter than Pamela Anderson, if ya catch my drift. I dunno, to me Natalie always looks like a 13-year-old boy especially with the bald head. Britney looks hot even when she was bald and while Natalie virtually has like no body at all, Britney has one of the hottest bods in the biz.
    To all those saying Britney is nasty looking has any of you seen her new video? The girl is packing some heat!!

  21. TrackerBacker

    Britney used to be so gorgeous when she was younger, but ultimately that we her downfall. She was too in your face and sexually explicit when she was still just a teenager. This is why by the time she hit her twenties she stopped being so gorgeous and started looking more like an overfed Cheeto-chomping white trash zombie. Even now, Britney still looks pretty messed up and is attractive, but not nearly as stunning as she was when she was younger. Natalie on the other hand used to be cute when she was younger but grew into this stunning young woman and she may have played a stripper in “Closer”, but for the most part she relies on her acting ability rather than sex appeal. If we were to compare them back in around, say, 2001, I’d have to go with Britney. But now, Natalie wins hands down. At least Natalie still manages to look somewhat ladylike and attractive minus all her hair, whereas Britney just looks like a psycho.

  22. Luther

    Britney wins hands down! Britney is still gorgeous without her hair. Natalie just looks like an anorexic boy.

  23. Damn

    I used t0 lyk britney spears b4 she was bald because she was a slut n acted v h0t, im very int0 sluts bt aftr she shaved she l00k s0 fuckin disgustin dat i l0st al my interest in da bitch, atleast natalie is betr l0okin than britney nw,nw i h0pe dat britney bitch stay ugly n retarded lyk dat 4 her rest of her life

  24. I really love Britney’s songs. she’s hot! All the drugs and shaving her head was crazy but she rocks. love u britney.

  25. I thought songs were meant to come from the heart. Does Britney really need so many songwriters?

  26. Ervina

    I also like beans!

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