NASA cans Commander Ass-head


One of my favourite stories of 2006 wrapped up with the best ending ever this week. NASA has dismissed astronaut William Oefelein, the guy who was involved in the love-triangle that ended with the arrest of fellow space cadet Lisa “poopie pants” Nowak after she loaded up the car with weapons, porn and diapers and headed out to kidnap her rival.

Nowak was dismissed months ago, presumably for using NASA-issued diapers to facilitate a crime — bathroom breaks cut into valuable kidnapping time. However, it wasen’t clear what was going to happen to Oefelein. He’s not really fired though — just re-assigned back to the Navy.

The lesson here is, whether they’re driving for two days to assail a co-workers girlfriend or preforming a space walk outside the International Space Station — astronauts shit their pants. Remember this next time you’re watching these fuckers floating around on CNN.

You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to crap yourself, but it sure helps. So much for the right stuff.


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