Archive for July, 2007

Little People, Big DUI

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OK, if this dude is getting pulled over for driving under the influence, the four horseman of the apocalypse can’t be too far behind because the world is officially screwed. Seems when he’s not dishing out life lessons on his “hit” TLC show, Matt Roloff likes to play Mad Max in Oregon. I guess this means he may also be appearing in a show on Court TV, and if we’re lucky, maybe one like Oz (no, not the one that starts off in Kansas, but good catch).

I don’t want to hate on little people or anything, but if there’s anyone out there who should be careful about their booze consumptions it’s them — and maybe toddlers. The only benefit I can see is that Yank beer would actually have the affect of a real beer.

I’m never driving in the states again. You never know who’s driving drunk down there.

Yes, these are Greek soldiers — waging some kind of war against good taste.

Seriously. These guys make those dancing Filipino inmates look cool. Zeus is gonna be pissed.

I know this is an older promo still from a crappy movie [Blades of Glory], but what I never noticed before was the view of Montreal’s Olympic Stadium out the hotel window. I guess I was busy admiring my favorite TV receptionist in a very un-Pam-like outfit. I’ve always said that ladies are sexier in Montreal and this is proof that it isn’t just the booze talking.

Jenna Fisher is sexy in Montreal

Jailhouse rock

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment. Convicts at a prison in the Philippines were made to learn the choreography to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video as part of their daily exercise regime. Amazing what you can do with a few hundred inmates and a couple dozen well aimed shotguns.

It’s funny. This is sort of what Michael Jackson might have looked like if that trial had gone the other way.

lindsay lohan mug shot

I know, I’ve been spending way too much time blogging about celebrities lately — in particularly Lindsay Lohan — but she just got busted on a second DUI charge and I can’t help myself.

I wonder what her alcohol monitoring device is thinking…

The Color of Nazi

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Here’s a promo shot of Tom Cruise in costume for his new movie, Rubicon — a film about the failed Nazi conspirators who tried to assassinate Hitler during WWII.

Funny story. Earlier on, the German government refused the production’s requests to film on location at specific WWII sites because Cruise is a flamboyant Scientologist. Scientology is considered to be more pyramid scheme than religion over there and they didn’t want homeboy shaking down locals to get rid of their alien bits. Officials have since mellowed and now say they were simply trying to preserve the historic dignity of the sites.

Um, how do you say horseshit in German? Oh yeah, “de Hasselhoff.”

Beware the booze band

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In an attempt to keep her clean-and-sober illusion going, Lindsay Lohan’s been spotted around L.A. sporting an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet that’s supposedly reports whether she’s been boozing. I guess it’s all part of her out-patient rehab front. But the truth is, not even master magician David Copperfield could make girlfriend’s habit go away — and that dude disapeared the Statue of Liberty.

I shouldn’t talk. If they tried to put an alcohol monitoring device like that on me it would explode after two minutes. Of course I don’t take my Mercedes on urban off-road adventures, so I’ve got nothing to worry about.

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+ More pics

Kickass behind the scenes pics and videos from Indiana Jones 4.

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Charlottetown, PEI is in a tizzy over all the bad language heard at the rock show they recently put on for Canada Day . I can hear it now:

“Aw shit, why’d they hire fuckin’ Nickelback. I’d rather have Satan fart in my ear for an hour.”

“Who the fuck is Default?!”

“Let’s shove Finger Eleven up Fuckcherry’s ass!”

“Who the fuck let Staind into the country”

Honestly, I don’t know what the city council was expecting. These bands are basically made up of the same get-stoned-behind-the-mall trash that the local cops chase around their town on a daily basis. Just because somebody gave them guitars and record contracts doesn’t change the fact that they’re dirtbags. Besides, it’s rock ‘n roll in the 21st century — they should be happy no one got peed on.

I’m not surprised by their reaction, though. Sometimes I think PEI is the Utah of Canada. It’s isolated, people there are kind of weird, and while you can drink beer, aluminum cans are outlawed on the Island — so forget about tall boys.

Forget about asking for a free show, here’s how you deal with Nickelback:

Watch as a couple of nerds take apart Apple’s new iPhone and give you a tour of the gadget’s insides. It’s actually pretty interesting until they get into the micro-analysis of the processors and shit. Still, it’s good to know that this toy is in a large part frankensteined together from two years worth of iPod technology.

By the end, the phone looks a lot like my last piece of crap that was exploded by blunt force taxi trauma. Don’t let the pretty looks fool you.

Oh, and now there are rumours about a smaller, cheaper iPhone Nano in the works.