Beware the booze band

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In an attempt to keep her clean-and-sober illusion going, Lindsay Lohan’s been spotted around L.A. sporting an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet that’s supposedly reports whether she’s been boozing. I guess it’s all part of her out-patient rehab front. But the truth is, not even master magician David Copperfield could make girlfriend’s habit go away — and that dude disapeared the Statue of Liberty.

I shouldn’t talk. If they tried to put an alcohol monitoring device like that on me it would explode after two minutes. Of course I don’t take my Mercedes on urban off-road adventures, so I’ve got nothing to worry about.

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  1. And it would go something like this: “Uh, Booze Monitoring Anklet to base. Come in base.”

    “We read you Booze Monitoring Anklet. What’s the status of subject E? Over.”

    “Uh, E he’s all cool and shit, I was just wondering if you could lend me fifty bucks? Over.”

    “Please repeat Booze Monitoring Anklet. Over.”

    “I’m a bit short on . . . I need a cheeseburger, and there’s this pair of heels I wanna go . . . and, ah shit . . . ”

    “Booze Monitoring Anklet? Do you read? Booze Monitoring Anklet?”




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