Archive for the ‘Food’ Category

Halifax Donair

Just as Philadelphia has cheeseteaks, Chicago has deep dish, Toronto has peameal — Halifax has the donair. And like those other great cities, Halifax’s greasy signature snack is loaded with more fat and calories than one should consume in one sitting — or one week for that matter. All the same, nothing removes a hangover quite like two Advil gel caps and a regular donair.

As you can see, it’s served on pita piled high with a special blend of spiced meat, tomatoes onions and topped with a creamy sweet and sour garlic sauce. I’ve been in cities across Canada and seen sandwhich boards in front of pizza shops advertising “Authentic East Coast Donairs”, but they’ve never been anything more than a beef shwarma with some kind of yogurt on top.

No, for the real deal you have to head east until you can smell the salt water of the Atlantic. Find Halifax and follow the shitty celtic music downtown until you see an intersection lit on all sides by the neon lights of Pizza Corner. If your timing is right, you’ll hear the drunken cadence of hundreds of pilgrims slowly making their way along Agyle, Grafton and Blowers towards this holy spot.

Order fast and be patient, these things take time to prepare. Once you have it, tear in. Despite what some locals might say, there’s no right way to finish a donair. Some pick away at it like popcorn, others eat it like a sandwhich. Know this —  no matter how hard you try, your hands will be covered in grease and sauce and you will get some on you shirt, pants or shoes — a souvenir you’ll enjoy forever. Also, don’t expect to get any kisses from vampires as the smell of garlic will linger on your breath long after the lights of Pizza Corner have faded in the rearview.

These little pieces of heaven start at about $4 a pop. Do yourself a favor and give one a try while blood can still make it’s way through your un-clogged arteries.

Beer briefs

This Bud’s for Hindu
Anheuser-Busch inks a deal to sell Budweiser in India. And they thought British colonial rule was bad…

Fuck the war on terror
Residents of Oxford, Ohio have far greater woes. Apparently outdoor drinking games are fucking up shit in the community so much that council has been debating a ban at great length. Next order of business: lobby Ben & Jerry’s to re-name Vanilla ice cream Oxford, Ohio.

Hooters is asking for trouble
White trash and frat boys in the states are about to get a shot in the arm at their favourite eatery. Hooters will soon unveil its own line of energy drinks. As a bonus, real Hooters waitresses will be featured on the cans. I guess they don’t realize that it takes a strong-prescription set of beer goggles to make these ladies look good.

Off to market mother…

St. Lawrence Market

The St. Lawrence Market is home to one of the world’s best hangover removers — the peameal bacon sandwich. Also known as a back-bacon sandwich, this snack offers the perfect blend of grease, flavor and sustenance. I take mine on kaiser with fried onions, pickle and sweet mustard. Sausage King offers the best one. Their counter staff is fast and quiet — no time for chit chat with a lineup of hungover warriors waiting.

No pictures because there isn’t a shutter speed fast enough to capture it after it’s unwrapped and ready. Best to make it down to the market yourself and try to catch them in their natural habitat. Before you know it, your hangover will be gone and you’ll be ready to install a new one. Woot.

Here are some other highlights from today’s excursion:

+ Kozlick’s Blond Mustard — homemade with Leffe beer
+ Meat: lamb, chicken, sausage
+ Dim Sum dumplings
+ Tons of slooots wrapped in gore-tex and denim
+ Chicken wings
+ Morbiere cheese
+ Beer: 4xStella, 4XGrolsh

I win.