Archive for the ‘News’ Category

The shaggin’ wagon rides again

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russel crowe

I know I’m in the minority here, but I think 3:10 to Yuma sucked shit. It was basically a rip-off of Lord of the Rings only with a doughy Aussie instead of a stumpy Brit. A band of brave westerners embark on a quest to deliver outlaw-renaissance man Russell Crowe to justice in Yuma. Chased by a pack of evil-doers, our heroes find a shortcut through a mountain that leads to climactic a ending where one of the guys that everyone likes gets offed. Sheeesh.

This plot should have stayed on whatever public bathroom stall door it was written on and Clint Eastwood should kick the ass of anyone who compares this steamer to the Unforgiven.

I want my $10.50 back.

Public Service Posting

This is what happens to hungover backseat drivers when they pay more attention to Fergie than they do to highway detour notifications. Don’t let backseat freakouts happen to you — pay attention to posted signs and construction detours.

Again, sorry Steve.

Filmed by cuzoogle on the way to Golden, B.C.

Brokeback Moraine Lake Mountain

Brokeback Moraine Lake Mountain

Just spent a blurry long weekend partying in the rockies at Banff and Kicking Horse. I was mostly boozing, but some of the guys decided to re-enact movie posters for gay cowboy movies. Well done fellas. Too bad you didn’t do it in Vegas — what happens at Moraine Lake stays on the Internet.

More pics later. Woot.

Hooters Calgary

It’s official, beerandnews has moved to Calgary. It’s been a busy week and already I’ve made some wonderful discoveries, like:

+ Not having to recycle anything saves tons of time.
+ The beef out here is so good you’ll punch yourself in the nuts to make sure you’re not dreaming.
+ The beer sucks. I’m gonna have to stick with imports.
+ You can smoke at Hooters.

Of course, it’s beautiful and clean. And although it’s tough to find a place to live, there aren’t nearly as many douchebags around as there are in Toronto. There are, however, tons of homeless nutbars on the streets and you do get the feeling that at any moment one of them may take swing at you. That combined with a feeling that frontier justice has more influence than the Canadian Criminal Code out here gives a guy the sense there’s some Wyatt Earp motherfucker who’ll take care of things.

Despite the crap beer, I think I’m going to like it out here. At least I found a good pub.

Little People, Big DUI

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OK, if this dude is getting pulled over for driving under the influence, the four horseman of the apocalypse can’t be too far behind because the world is officially screwed. Seems when he’s not dishing out life lessons on his “hit” TLC show, Matt Roloff likes to play Mad Max in Oregon. I guess this means he may also be appearing in a show on Court TV, and if we’re lucky, maybe one like Oz (no, not the one that starts off in Kansas, but good catch).

I don’t want to hate on little people or anything, but if there’s anyone out there who should be careful about their booze consumptions it’s them — and maybe toddlers. The only benefit I can see is that Yank beer would actually have the affect of a real beer.

I’m never driving in the states again. You never know who’s driving drunk down there.

Yes, these are Greek soldiers — waging some kind of war against good taste.

Seriously. These guys make those dancing Filipino inmates look cool. Zeus is gonna be pissed.

Jailhouse rock

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment. Convicts at a prison in the Philippines were made to learn the choreography to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video as part of their daily exercise regime. Amazing what you can do with a few hundred inmates and a couple dozen well aimed shotguns.

It’s funny. This is sort of what Michael Jackson might have looked like if that trial had gone the other way.

lindsay lohan mug shot

I know, I’ve been spending way too much time blogging about celebrities lately — in particularly Lindsay Lohan — but she just got busted on a second DUI charge and I can’t help myself.

I wonder what her alcohol monitoring device is thinking…

Beware the booze band

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In an attempt to keep her clean-and-sober illusion going, Lindsay Lohan’s been spotted around L.A. sporting an alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet that’s supposedly reports whether she’s been boozing. I guess it’s all part of her out-patient rehab front. But the truth is, not even master magician David Copperfield could make girlfriend’s habit go away — and that dude disapeared the Statue of Liberty.

I shouldn’t talk. If they tried to put an alcohol monitoring device like that on me it would explode after two minutes. Of course I don’t take my Mercedes on urban off-road adventures, so I’ve got nothing to worry about.

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+ More pics