Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Cheaper than surgery

Here’s one for all you EU-haters out there. Now that Bulgaria has joined, the duty tax on the country’s Boza ale — a bosom enhancing brew — has been dropped so shallow men everywhere can pick up cheap cases for their better halds. As you can imagine, men from around Europe are flocking to the backwards country to load up.

Cute story, but I have to call bullshit. I’ve been drinking beer for a long time now and I can honestly say that pretty much every brand will make your tits bigger if you drink enough.

Just wanted to show that Jenna Fischer is not only a talented comedic actor. She’s also very good at posing naked with a sheet.

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She’s also a funny writer — here’s a YouTube of a sketch she produced titled 10 Things You Don’t Know About Women. You can see more of Jenna on The Office. I’m gonna look for more naked Jenna online.

Zoot suit riot

I’m having a bad morning, but these a-holes are a real pick-me-up. Look at ’em preening in their little costumes lookin’ like MC Hammer’s groomsmen. The look on their faces asks, “why aren’t I getting laid right now,” while the suits are saying, “Look at my chains. We’re totally un-fuckable.”

However, if you like what you see, head on over to Suavecito Apparel Co. in Denver, CO. Shit, there’s never an off-target smart bomb around when you need one.

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Here’s anohter reason why Letterman will always rule late night. Not many talk show hosts can get away with bits like this anymore — especially with image-concious pretty boys like George Clooney. Woot!

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Had an alright time in Ottawa this weekend. I took the train up Friday, so there was no risk of getting lost. No luck trying to find either of my Federal Hotties — Belinda Stronach, Michaelle Jean — for a beer, but it wasen’t for lack of trying. I had interesting conversations with security for both, but the closest offer I had for a date was a two-course knuckle sandwich dinner followed by a scenic tour in the trunk of security’s car. I opted for pints at the Manx instead. Aside from that it was just boozin and snoozin in our wonderful National Capital Region.

Here are some pics.

Other highlights:

+ Dinner at Shanghai — voted Ottawa’s No. 1
Chines restaurant and Kareoke joint

+ Beers at Lieutenant’s Pump on Elgin
+ A&W burgers
+ Beers in the Market
+ Indian feast at Haveli
+ Shoplifting from Chapters
+ Stranger than Fiction
+ Beers at the Manx — woot!
+ Brunch in Belinda Stronach’s condo

Now, back to TCB.

We went to a rodeo last Friday at the Legion and a birthday party broke out. The Beer Bandit showed up, but it wasen’t enough to spoil the fun. Woot!

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Clothes Off! Engage…

I don’t watch the show much, but this clip from Extras is making me re-think that. Patrick Stewart is a freak — in the Rick James sense. Woot!

Beer, Paper, Fellas

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Enjoyed a bit of a bender this weekend. Fotunately, I was aided by good buddies Mike and Kyle. However, unlike other benders this one had a celebratory feel since Mike was in town to premier his new RPS documentary — that’s Rock, Paper, Scissors, not Russian People Suck. Totally different film.

In any case, three days of booze, bbq, hockey and drugs has done me in for the moment. I also have to start re-generating my mana for this weekend’s 30th birthday throwdown at the legion, so I’m cutting it short. Look for more pictures once I figure out how to get them off my camera without crashing my PC. The cocksuckers save at 17 MB a pic on my new camera, so it may take a while.

BluenoseShocking news out of the East Coast. It seems somebody is trying to open a strip joint in downtown Lunenburg. Well, that’s kind of overstating it. Lunenburg doesn’t really have a “downtown” per se. It’s more like a pub, a coffee shop and a few tourist shops where you can buy fake seagull shit.

Being an old-school, conservative outport community, the town has vowed to fight the development.
I’m just surprised that someone actually thinks it’s a good idea to open a peeler bar in downtown Lunenburg. Where’s the talent going to come from (have you seen South Shore girls!?) and who would go? If you’ve ever been to the picturesque little seaside town, you’ll know that Lunenburg is populated mostly by seniors and out-of-work fisherman. It’s no secret that a few packed tour busses can easily double and sometimes triple the local population. Lunenburg’s already known for the Bluenose. There’s no room for Blueboobs.

Then again, I’m a fan of tits. I’m curious to see how this one plays out.

Guess what this a-hole was busted huffing? I love Smoking Gun mugshots.